Sunday, December 05, 2010

Dog Asleep on Floor: All's Right in the World

I was going to write about what seemed
or seems right with the world at this moment
and just lost it. Seems pretentious (don't even know
if that's how to spell the damn word--cant spell anymore).

to write about how good the house smells
fresh vegetables, garlic, onions, herbs
how even the sneezing and cold outside
don't seem to matter.

But im tanked. that;s why. let me sober up and things
won't seem so whole and right. why cant there be something
out there somewhere to allow me this? then i would not
be fat and unhealthy. my heart and liver would love
me. all my friends would say Gee, you look great
what have you been doing to look so great? and the energy
i'd have, oh, gee whiz, man oh man. just to think about it
makes my head spin.

and the dog is asleep on the floor near the kitchen, filled
with the aroma of my caring. and the house is warm enough
and my clothes are packed for the next trip. and i am not
alone but always feel alone. and it's not one person's fault.
not anyones./ and i feel too much shame and guilt to write
about what i want to say and i think i may always.

but i am at this moment ok. another sneeze rising,
postnasal drip choking me. time for another sip
of elixir. oh yes.

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