Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Concessions

The rain taps lightly
against the window,
not really wanting in,

but insisting to be
heard. Cars drive
by out front. I hear

the water displace
beneath their wheels,
spinning out and back

again, back to the black
they've fallen upon, darkness
closing in, laying its claim

to the innocent and guilty
alike. There is no control.
There is only the rain,

the soup cooking in the kitchen,
the wrist swollen and damaged,
leaves abandoning trees in droves,

waiting for winter to have its say.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Rain & dreams & a swollen wrist

It's raining, and I am glad for it.

*

Strange dreams all night. Woke to one in which my father
was driving a large bus--a tour bus or school bus. My siblings,
mother, and children were all aboard the bus, but no one other
than family. None of us were sitting together. We were seated
randomly all over the bus. I could see the back of my father's
head. I said to my sister or daughter (can't remember) Why
isn't anyone up there with Dad? I know he's tired. So, I went
to the front of the bus and said, Dad, you don't look well. Let
someone else drive.

Even though I called him Dad, he was clearly not my dad.
As a matter of fact, he was the size of a 1 year old child
who looked like one those children with that rare disorder
which makes a child age quickly (will have to look that up).

I said, Come here. Let me hold you. And I scooped him
up from the driver's seat and held him in my arms saying
There, there now. It's going to be ok. And in this strange little
voice, he started speaking to me. I could not understand much,
but I understood Hugs and I said, Yes, of course,
hugs are good, and I hugged him tightly and stroked his back like
you would stroke the back of your sick child. And then he said
something about Anna (my niece). And I said, You want to talk to
Anna? And he indicated he did. And I think I said, Anna knows
you're sorry. It's ok.

And I woke up.

*

My left wrist has been swollen and hurting for about 5 days now.
I woke up Tuesday morning, I think, in pain and could hardly
move my wrist. I vaguely remember dreaming about hurting
it. Maybe I fractured it in my sleep. Who knows.

*

No results yet from Judy's chest X-ray. She is very concerned,
understandably.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Tonight

Nashville. Heard David Kaczynski (sp) address
the crowd gathered about his brother, Ted,
the Unabomber, and severe mental illness.
Bill Babbit (sp) was there talking about his brother,
Manny, as well. Glad my daughter told me about this
event. My strong, brave, filled with conviction daughter.

Last night, on call. did not get home until after 2. Took
an hour to get to the hospital, hour to assess, hour to get
home. Should be in bed. But can't sleep. So many
issues, thoughts, causes, people in my mind.

Tx team in the AM early. Should shower now. Don't
think I can sleep.

*

And, on the way to Nashville, my sister called to tell me she had
a TB skin test. Positive. X-ray tomorrow. Researching sites.

*

So, I drove to Nashville (200 mile round trip)
and back after I got off work.

*
I am tired but the wheel is on fire.

Sunday, November 07, 2010

Beneath the Blue

My eyelids burn,
the well of a thousand
undropped

tears awaiting the moment
when spill into darkness
can contain the secrets

in some old rugged rock,
some hand-hewn vessel
readied for the drought,

protected from the chill,
small bucket hanging
from worn thread

ready to be tossed
down to quench
a thirst which seems

insatiable.

Friday, November 05, 2010




Be articulate and demonstrative and revelatory.

That's what I am supposed to be this year. Just took this blog
into the private zone and this guy is telling me I am supposed
to "be A, R, and D!

Hmmmm....

The next poem I plan to write will be about the Black Vulture.

Here is his picture. He mates for life.
Hmmmm....


Scorpio Horoscope for week of November 4, 2010

Technorati, a search engine for blogs, says there are well over 100 million blogs on the Internet, and that figure doesn't include millions of Chinese language blogs. So self-expression is thriving on a global scale, right? Not exactly. Most blogs -- the estimate is 94 percent -- have not been updated for at least four months. In accordance with the current astrological indicators, Scorpio, I expect you to do something about this problem. Refresh your blog in the coming week, or consider launching one if you don't have one. But don't stop there. Use every other way you can imagine to show the world who you are. Be articulate and demonstrative and revelatory.

*


SACRED ADVERTISEMENT
See how far you can spit a mouthful of beer
Pick blackberries naked in the pouring rain
Scare yourself with how beautiful you are
Stage a slow-motion water balloon fight
Pretend your wounds are exotic tattoos
Sing anarchist lullabies to lesbian trees
Plunge butcher knives into accordions
Commit a crime that breaks no laws
Sip the tears of someone you love

Wednesday, November 03, 2010

Clouds and more clouds

So happy to have a camera. Got it last Christmas
but did not use it much. Had to buy a memory stick
or whatever those things are called. Got one before
the trip to Savannah, Charleston, Asheville.

Now, I take my camera with me everywhere, but I don't
know enough about it to know how to do the settings.

I know I love clouds and trees, so I am taking many
pictures of clouds and trees.

*

If I did not have on call, I would love my job. But I hate
being in alert mode for 48 hours plus. Hard to get up and drive
60 miles in the middle of the night. Praying I won't get called.

*

Reading a bio of Thomas Wolfe. Much I did not know about him.
Interesting.

*

Really low tonight. Need to eat but am not hungry.