R.E.M. - Everybody Hurts

and this one I have watched several times tonight and I am getting tired and the greens are wearing off and I don;t feel like Popeye any longer nor do I feel like Olive Oyl nor do I feel like Wonder Woman or the Green Lantern or Cat Power or Joan Baez or Bob Dylan...I just feel like lost me, lost me...

Oh lost and by the wind grieved, come back again...

I think that's what Thomas Wolfe said...

Oh lost, and by the wind grieved...ghost, come back again.

Bob Dylan - Forever Young / Baby, Let Me Follow You Down

One of my favorite Dylan songs...God, I have to go see Dylan again soon... I don't care what he sounds like now...he is Dylan...it's been 2 years since I saw him last...Wes wants to see him too...gonna look up his tour schedule...have seen him at least 15 times and hope to see him at least 15 more...

Cat Stevens - How Can I Tell You

and now here, and also thinking of Cat Steven's song The Wind

and also thinking of Dylan's Forever Young

JONI MITCHELL - Blue. 1970.

And now I am here...and have listened to this several times...and want more Joni

Bob Dylan and Joan Baez- Typing and Singing

This song won't leave me alone (Percy's Song). Bob is typing the words to The Hour That The Ship Comes In (I think) as Joan sings.

I just ate some greens. Was telling a friend not an hour ago that I was going to be sick if I didn't eat something. So I ate. Greens. Greens my mom cooked. Collards and mustards.

I wonder if folks in Boston eat collards. I know I get all uppity and do my wilted kale or spinach and that's all the rave these days, but I still love greens. Earthy, musty, iron-rich greens.

I feel like Popeye.

sea of love

This is the song Lauren and Andy were going to perform at Jake's funeral, but it was just too hard to do. Ignore the video. Close your eyes. Listen. Lauren was going to sing

Do you remember
when we met
That's the day
I knew you were my friend

Back, sort of

Naples was beautiful. Low humidity, breezy, calm
ocean. Spent most days on the beach. My youngest
niece and I were out in the water, swimming and looking
for shells and such, and I said, "For whatever we lose,
like a you or a me, it's always ourselves, we find in the sea."

And then we talked about cummings and poetry, and we stuck
our toes into the sand, poking at what we thought was a shell
only to find out it was a crab. A patient one I might add.

"May came home with a smooth round stone
As small as a world and as large as alone," I told my other
niece as we walked the beach on a different day. And then
we talked about cummings and poetry and life and babies
and oceans and rivers and fathers and aunts and life
and life and life...

*

After the funeral, actually before the funeral, Lauren asked
if I wanted to go to Naples. She already had the time off
and was supposed to be touring for 2 weeks but was not up
to that. So I said, yes, I can go. Let's go.

And go we did. We stayed with my sister. Yesterday, as we
were getting ready to leave, my sister went up into the attic
to go through some art pieces she had to see if there were any
I wanted. She had already given me one--Monkeys in Vietnam--
can't explain it--don't think that art needs explanation per se--
but think I'll post a photo here.

She called me up into the attic to look at some paintings
and then in just one or two seconds, everything went fuzzy.
I heard a popping sound. I saw her go from standing height
to just upper chest, shoulders and head. The gravity
didn't sink in until she said, Pull me out of here!

I ran down the attic stairs (don't know why), saw her
feet dangling through the hole in the ceiling, screamed
for Lauren and ran back up the steps to try to pull my sister
up through the hole. Lauren heard me, said That's not funny
screaming like someone is hurt and I said Someone is
and she saw my sister and we got on either side and pulled
her back into the attic.

Geez. Scared the hell outta me. But she's ok. Scraped leg. Big
knot. Hole in the ceiling.

*

Lauren and I talked about going to Milledgeville (think that's
the name of the town) on our way home to see Flannery O'Connor's
place, but we were wanting to get home and it's a 14 + hour drive
from Naples home without any stops, so we didn't, but I know
where it is now and it will only take me about 6 hours to get there,
so next time I am southbound on 75, I am going off the beaten
path to Milledgeville.

*

Tired. Rested but tired. I didn't want to leave the beach
and I didn't want to stay. I wanted to come home.


So, I am home. And the lillies are all blooming, and the clematis
is nearly dead from no water all week (forgot to ask husband or son
to water) and the primrose continues to thrive. And the weeds,
oh the weeds, prolifically overtook the garden beds.

Hard to completely harbor hatred for something so resilient.