Today
...is my 49th birthday. I wish I could
say I feel happy or at least good or at the very
minimum, okay. Some people say life begins at 50,
but damn, I don't want to wait one more year!
Been waiting a long time already.
My daughter and her boyfriend were here
this weekend. She even baked me a cake
last night (gluten-free!). It was actually
pretty good. So, Friday night was good
because they were here and my youngest
son and his friends were around and people
were having fun.
Yesterday was good, too. Lauren and I took
Molly for her walk at the cemetery, then
we just all sat around and talked. Dinner
last night with the kids (except oldest
son and family) and with my in-laws was nice.
I'm just blue. In a way I can't shake. I think
some people are just born that way. No, born
with some genes which may contribute to the melancholy,
but so much is up to me to do with my life what I can.
Just don't have the can-do attitude of late.
Well, not just of late--pretty much all my life.
Boring, yawn, yawn, yawn...
****
Reread A Rough Magic, a biography of Sylvia
Plath, which sent me searching the web for info
about her kids and found this site. Her daughter
is quite beautiful and talented.
Now reading The Fountainhead--one of those books
that has been on my bookshelves for 25 years and I just
never felt terribly inclined to read it. Maybe I am thinking
I need more objectivism in my life.
*sigh*
Going to go read some more, wait for it to warm up a bit
outside, take Molly for her walk, and then just be.
************
1958 Events
5 comments:
Happy birthday, Maggie!
I can't think of a better way to spend a birthday than taking a dog for walk.
I swear every time I read about you taking your Molly out and about, I think of Kenyon. And I remember the dog from my childhood, Tootsie. I loved taking her for walks. We used to wander far and wide together in the fields and woods. And when I got older, I used to love to take her for proper walks at night. Just me and the stars and the dog. And the snow. One of my favorite memories is of taking this wonderful dog, this loving, happy, silly dog for a walk at midnight when the snow was falling so fast that it covered her back, got stuck in my eyelashes and completely erased our tracks--when we circled back, it was as though we were walking down a new road.
Gosh, I hope there's room for a dog in my near future. I love Elmo and Bob....but cats are cats. And dogs are dogs.
Happy, happy, dear M. Joy, joy.
Thank you, dear Laurel...for thinking about me and extending your birthday wishes.
Oh Molly...what a work out she is, but she teaches me something about myself every day, and I bless her for that and for just being here.
Today, when we walked, we had a brisk wind and the leaves looked like rats abandoning the ship, all blowing in the same direction, all going into the gutters and streets, all hurrying hurrying to move one,
and there was Molly, chomping on the bit to chase them, seeing them as entertainment, excited to leap in the air and catch a few...
There was Molly, unafraid of death, eager to embrace the moment, to catch these strange things hopping, skipping, scurrying away....made me feel ok....
to move on...is what I meant...to move on...
Happy Birthday, Maggie. My grandma's birthday is tomorrow: she'll be 69.
Thanks, Talia...I hope your grandma has a wonderful birthday!
Post a Comment