Our Children

 Our adult children many times end up doing things professionally that they never thought they would do. My oldest son has a master's in theology. Things took a drastically different turn for him in life, and he sells cars now for a large dealership. His life in ministry was so important and such a special part of his life that I was very concerned that he would have a hard time making the changes he had to make, but I feel he is happy selling cars, and he is good at it and making tons more money than he likely ever would have teaching or working in some capacity in the church. That does not mean I did not have many sleepless nights worrying for him and about him. I would venture to say I had more than he had, and sometimes that may have been because he could talk to me about it and go to sleep. Sometimes, that is all you can do as a parent. Listen to your child and hope they rest that night because they were able to unload their fears, worries, and despair.

My daughter finished undergrad school with a bachelor's in English. She applied to grad school at Trinity University in Dublin, Ireland and was accepted. She sold her car, left her friends and family, and made her way to Ireland to get a master's in English. Less than two weeks into her Ireland life, she called me and said her anxiety was so severe that she did not think she could stay in Ireland. She wanted to come home, but she did not want to disappoint her family and friends and everyone who believed so much in her. She was so panic-stricken that I called my brother in NYC and asked if he would fly to Ireland to bring her home. He agreed to do so, but he did not have to do so. She made it home. When she got back to the states, she got a job at a domestic violence shelter. She was the advocate and worked the hotline. She decided to get her master's in social work, which she did as she continued to work at the shelter helping the women and children of domestic violence. Part of her master's program required an internship, which she did at the Tennessee Prison For Women. She learned so much from that experience, and she gave so much. Her journey would take me a little while, so I will cut it short. Today, she is a Professor in Infectious Diseases. Her PhD is in Social Work, and her dissertation was about Intimate Partner Violence and its affect on women in South Africa. She traveled there and established a mobile clinic. Until her recent appointment as a research professor, she was the director of behavioral care for a leading HIV/AIDS center. She started college as a dance and theater major, but life had other plans for her.

My youngest child, who is 12 1/2 years behind his brother and 9 1/2 years younger than his sister, works in healthcare management as an advocate. I could not be more proud of the work he is doing, though that is not what he thought he would be doing. He has a double major--a bachelor's in English and a bachelor's in Spanish. He had planned to go to grad school to get his MFA in creative writing, and he also considered translating in court cases and at local shelters who needed some help. He found himself working in healthcare management shortly after graduating from college when no other employment opportunities presented themselves. He hated the politics involved in healthcare management and left it for a few years and worked at an independent eyeglass company in customer relations. When he was only 12 years old, he would go see his sister on the weekends on occasion and assist her and her friends in preparing food for the homeless. One Sunday, he was permitted to be on the food line. That experience has made him a life long activist for the needy and the marginalized. He actively supports any activities in his city linked to helping those in need. He is a tenderhearted young man who lives by his principles.

So, if you don't read anything other than this last paragraph, just know that many many times, your children have dreams and plans for their futures, and those dreams and plans don't reach fruition, but some other dream or plan comes to them, and they find themselves right at home. Just be there to support them in their visions and dreams, and when those don't work out, support them as they embark on a new journey. My best to all of you moms out there. It is an amazing journey, being a mom, with many sleepless and worry-filled nights, but also with so many reasons to celebrate and be proud and hopeful for them and the future. Thanks for asking this question. I think these things about my children often, but I never write about them.