The Last Lecture

I just read about this guy the other day and took
some time to watch part of his lecture on YouTube:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji5_MqicxSo

I think anyone would get something from watching
some part of this, if not all of it.

It's too easy to get bogged down in the day-to-day
problems--the economy, the job market, the price
of gas, the continuing war(s) in Afghanistan and Iraq,
the heartbreak of losing our loved ones, the despondency
we feel as people we thought we could trust to be there
for us for the long haul leave us--

but I digress and miss the point of the lecture in such
digression...I need to let those folks go and wish them
well and think more about myself and what I can do
for me that no one else can.

I need to think about my dreams--what they were
way back when and what they are now and where I lost
sight of what matters.

Bitterness can eat us to the core. We must be careful.


I plan to listen to Randy more than once. I would say
he lived what seems to me a rather charmed life--
well-adjusted, good parenting, emotional and intellectual
support and stimulation, positive attitude, a profession
he loved, a wife and children with whom he was very close,
and even toward the end, knowing there was no way to
survive his pancreatic cancer, he refused to let that
drag him down.

Maybe not a charmed life, but certainly a charming man.

Work to do now. Not leaving until tomorrow morning--
daughter has to work later than she thought and we
don't want to arrive at Hilton Head at 2-3 AM, so I have
more time today to get my clothes washed and packed
and rest a bit. Very, very tired. What's new?

*************************

Had an email--someone asking why I deleted this post.
Did not realize that I had or can't remember now why I did.

So, here it is.

And I am back. And Hilton Head Island
stories are going to have to wait until tomorrow or when
I feel like writing them.

Some once in a lifetime moments happened for some
of us there.

And each of us will carry some aspect of this trip with us
for our entire lives.

More to come about touching the barnacles on a sea
turtle's back at 3 AM as she was making her way back
to the sea after laying her eggs, about the dolphins
no more than 15 ft from where we were standing
in the ocean, the sand dollars spawning, the apologies
shared, and the laughter--oh my...I laughed so hard
last night that my sides hurt the rest of the evening.

Now time to pet Molly, who missed me a great deal
and to look over the mail, papers, etc. Been here for
at least an hour and a half, but I have been visiting
with hubby and son, unloading the car, watering
some plants, and lots of other things.



Watch the lecture. I don't think you'll be sorry.



Thanks for the email asking why.

Self-Portrait With a Straw Hat and Artist's Smock, 1887
Vincent van Gogh

It Ain't Me

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ImpKzFXO1WI

Power to the people.

Can't

get YouTube videos to post on my blog any longer,
but if I could, this is the one I would post:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1e0EQlQXoEo

Lots to do today. I am cooking dinner for my mother-
and father-in-law tonight--it is her 89th birthday
today. She's an amazing woman who looks at least
10-15 years younger than her age.

Already mowed this morning, paid some bills,
took a shower, did a load of laundry, applied
for a job, and now I am headed out to get some groceries
and hydrocortisone for this poison ivy--it's getting to me.

The funeral for the two little girls is today in Louisville.
I know the great-grandmother of one of them, as well
as the aunts and uncles. It is just such a tragedy.

They were crossing the street--the mother of one
them holding their hands--one child on either side
of her. A man eluding the police (not clear if he was
drunk or not) ran a red light and hit them as they
were crossing the street. The mother was injured
but is expected to recover from the physical injuries.

Anyone who reads this, do whatever it is you do to send
peace and comfort to the families of these sweet little
girls--4 & 5 years old.

Self Portrait with Bandaged Ear and Pipe, 1889
Vincent van Gogh

Monday morning, 9:18


Much to get done today, but I'm dragging.

Restless night. Went to see The Dark Knight,
and I have to say I wasn't that wowed with it--
something Wes just can't understand as he was so
sure I would find it as good as he did. He went with
his dad and I last night, even though he saw the midnight
screening the day before it opened.

Was Heath Ledgers performance good? Yes. Did I think it was worthy
of an Oscar nomination. No. I thought Jack Nicholson
was a more interesting joker. If any of the characters
had to really dig deep inside of themselves, I would say
it had to have been Batman and Two-Face. Hell, maybe
I'm just getting old and the thrill is gone for me for action-
adventure films. I think that is what most disturbs Wes
about my choice of films lately--they indicate to him that his
ma is just not as much fun anymore--and he's right.

I rented the Spiderwick Chronicles, A Mighty Heart, and
The Music Within. Finished with the first two. A Mighty
Heart was a well-done film. The story is heartbreaking,
but the movie is not maudlin and does not dwell on the pain
associated with the loss of Daniel Pearl. I need to watch the
last one and get the movies back by Wed.

Finished reading Animal Farm and am now reading some
Annie Proulx short stories. I like her, but I'm not wowed--
like my mom is--by her work. Does she do an excellent job
of describing the landscape and the characters? Absolutely.
But I think I'm going to read some Pilgrim at Tinker Creek
some time today. I want more Annie Dillard.

Been struggling (I say that so often it has become cliche).
Between friends with bad news, my worry for my sister,
and some other personal issues, I feel rather beaten down.

I am hopeful that this trip I am going on will help.

A friend of mine's mother has a condo on Hilton Head
Island, and she has invited me to come for the week.
Leaving Thursday. Daughter is going with me, so we'll
split gas costs and everyone will buy food. We all love
to cook, and my friend is quite an extraordinary cook
(and I'm not such a bad cook myself) , so I'm looking
forward to the friendship, good food, some good wine,
the ocean--oh my, yes, the ocean. Looking forward
to interesting conversations. This friend has her MA
in English, she's radical as hell, and she's f'ing brilliant,
so it makes for some interesting times. I need to go,
but the fatigue I'm feeling is telling me to stay home.

F the fatigue. It's a 10 hour drive, and we're not leaving
until 3 or so (have to wait for daughter to get off work),
so we'll leave Nashville around 3-3:30, I guess. Then
it's I 24 to I 75 to I 16. I've never taken 16, but the other
roads I know quite well.

Poison ivy is travelling. It is now on my inner thigh
on my right leg and on the back of my left leg from
mid-calf to mid-thigh. I still have the other places
as well. I guess the only way I'm not going to get it
is to stop working in my yard. I just can't seem to avoid
it. I look carefully, or at least I think I do, and then,
bam, there it is. Oh well. I know I can't just stop
working in my yard.

I enjoy my gardens and have plans for adding more
to them, but it costs a great deal to garden, so I'm not
making great progress. I am thrilled that my Impressionist
climbing rose bush I bought last summer is now at least
5 ft tall. It has the loveliest blooms. The buds look
magenta when they first appear on the stems, but
as they start to open, they turn a reddish-orange,
and then as they open more, the center is yellow
with bands of magenta and reddish-orange toward the
bottom. I placed it next to the trellis that leads into
my father's garden, and I think it's going to be lovely
as it starts to climb the trellis. My wisteria is still
blooming, which surprises me. The garden phlox
is lovely, as are the speedwell and stella d'oros. It's
all pretty to look at. It's all a great deal of work.

But it's worth it, even if I have to put up with poisin
ivy now and then.

Have a meeting today about a job. Actually meeting with
a friend who is a supervisor to discuss some of the problems
I am encountering in my job search. I think she'll be some help.

I finally started stripping some more wallpaper off the hallway
walls yesterday. Think I'll get back to that now before
I talk myself out of it.

Self-Portrait with Felt Hat (1887-88)
Vincent van Gogh