Cream of Chicken Soup River

Back to crazy dreams again. Feel like I must have been
the one the doctors drugged last Friday.

In one dream, nearly all the children I have ever known
(my playmates, children I taught in kindergarten, children's
choir, and Sunday School [yes, I once attended church],
children I had in my brownie group, children I had in my
cub scout group, children I babysat, children I administered
meds to when I was a Med Tech, children I privately tutored,
children of the neighborhood, my nieces, and children
whose faces I did not know) were all floating away in a river
swollen and overflowing with cream of chicken soup.

They weren't drowning or anything like that.

They were just floating along.

I was looking out my kitchen window watching the current
carry them further and further away. I was watching
without horror or concern or happiness.

I was simply watching.

***********************************************

Last night I dreamed my house was destroyed
in a tornado. I remember telling my mother
to run to the basement as I grabbed my sleeping
son.

When we got to the basement, I was holding my infant
son (who is now 15), and also telling my 15 year old
and his friend to get down and cover their heads.

So, Wes was a baby in the dream and Wes was Wes.

It was so frightening. I could hear the freight train sound
and I could hear things hitting the house.

I had to keep telling my son and his friend to stay
put. I kept trying to keep the baby covered with his
blanket. I kept worrying about the fact that he didn't
have socks on.

I heard this tremendous sound of crashing metal
very nearby and fearing we may have to evacuate the basement,
I got up and looked out the window.

In the backyard of the house next door to me, two semi
trucks had been picked up by the tornado and dropped
in the yard. I remember that the trailers had pictures
of carnival rides painted on them so I thought they must
be trucks bringing the carnival to town.

Finally when I thought it was safe to come out
of the basement, I picked up the baby and told Mom,
Wes and his friend to follow me out.

My home was completely demolished. Only the basement
remained. My whole block was obliterated. I remember
thinking things are just things. We made it. We made it.

Of course the bad weather we had all weekend contributed
to that dream (or nightmare I should say).

Strange thing is how calm I felt when I awoke.

Generally when I have a dream like that, I wake up
with my heart racing, but I felt at peace. I felt like
everything was going to be ok.

*************************************************

I want to go to the cemetery and put some beautiful
burgundy, yellow, and purple mums next to Dad's
grave.

I don't know if I ever asked him what his favorite
season was. Autumn is mine. Such beauty to be found
in dying.

Funny how many days I think about
how many things I don't know about Dad.

Or maybe I do know but I can't remember what they are right now.