Open

That's the operative word for this new year
for this writer. Open. To suggestions, to experiences,
to ideas, to letting the universe have her way with me
often, to being kinder to myself, to invitations,
to words, to kindness, to healing. No more hiding.
No more running away. No more holding on to a past
which brings me such great sadness.

May the experiences find a way to work themselves
into my life in such a way that I no longer fear or
regret them. May the power they've had over me
diminish with each second I choose to be open
to letting life in the moment fill me.

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On to other matters.

How in the hell do I get that big ass picture
of myself off the page? I clicked on gadget to add
it when I noticed I no longer had a picture
of me on here. So, I went back to gadget to get
rid of it, but the only options I see are "add"
a gadget. Posting a great big picture of moi makes
it seem as though I'm a bit too into me.
:)

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So, open blog again. I no longer need to hide myself
away. I have liberated myself from the negativity
which compelled me to hide. It is a part of the healing
to know how completely one can let go of the things,
people, places, and memories which we oftentimes allow
to hold us hostage.

***********************

Every year I say I am not going to make resolutions.
It's pointless if you're not going to be proactive to just
write down a list of things you "ought to" do.

No ought to for me, but some thoughts:

*Less salt
*More exercise
*Way, way less alcohol
*At least 1 trip in the spring to a state park to hike
*More time at the river--I miss my river time
*Less sitting around feeling sorry for myself
*Acceptance, but not acceptance which prevents change
*Lots of reading
*Take a class in the discipline I love the most--would that be a
lit class or a creative writing class? I think it might be!
*Lose no less than 30 pounds (not only would I look
better, my heart would thank me--blood pressure
and cholesterol are not in good shape)
*A trip to a museum or art gallery on a regular basis
*Get my art supplies out of the closet and into the light
and start drawing and painting
*Get my hair "styled"--yeah boy, styled! I have not had
a hair cut since I lost my job over 2 years ago (except for
the butchering I subject it to every month or so)
*Get contact lenses
*Tackle one big project this year--perhaps I'll strip, sand
and refinish my hardwood floors all by myself
*Continue to work on my relationships (a friend I have known
since 1972 but had not seen much over the last 30 years
has now come back into my life. I am so grateful for her
and we are so enjoying each other's company)
*Allow time for pampering

Ok, there's much more I can think of but I think that's
a pretty ambitious start!

*****************************

This from Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance
(which I am rereading for the umpteenth time!)

The N, his son, and some friends are travelling across
country on motorcycles. Pirsig writes:

We want to make good time, but for us now this is
measured with emphasis on "good" rather than "time"
and when you make that shift in emphasis the whole
approach changes.

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Happy 2009, dear readers!