Yes, today is my mother's 83rd birthday. It is now 8:35 PM here in Western KY. I did not call her. I did not go and see her. I did not send her anything. She lives about 5 blocks from me. I last saw her on Christmas Day 2018. Since that day, she has said and done things which have hurt me. No more than she has hurt me my entire life but enough so that I have chosen to not be involved in her life.
I woke up today thinking I could at least send some flowers, even if I did not include a card. I thought that way because I figured she would toss the flowers into the garbage can if she found out they were from me. I was concerned about her calling the local florist and causing some issues trying to find out who sent the flowers, so I just nixed that idea altogether.
So then, I tried to get easy about not recognizing her birthday in any way, and I went to Amazon and ordered a box of chocolates. I got a discount, so they cost me a dollar and 47 cents or something like that. They won't get there until tomorrow, and my name can't be traced because she won't be able to figure that one out, but at least she'll get some chocolates tomorrow, and my mind can rest easy because I sent her a gift. Right! Oh, how unfunny this all is. It's absolutely ludicrous. But, what can I do? I don't want to see her. I don't want to keep feeling like the piece of shit she's always made me feel like. So, I hope she likes her box of chocolates, and if not, I won't know.
So, I ate a helluva a lot of nuts and have had too much Jose. I am sorry.
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