Pics

Morning Tea by Serge Kosintkev is the name of the photo that looks like a skeleton.

Window

I posted this on the nature photography group, but I took it off. It may be too much.

Some of you are still getting out (and by out, I mean "out" somewhere other than your own backyard), and I am so glad to see your pictures. So many beautiful trees, flowers, and birds out there. I was rarely going anywhere beyond my own backyard before COVID-19 became a part of our vocabulary, but I have still found some beauty in my own backyard in these hard times, and I do find myself looking out of my windows a lot at what I have in my backyard. I don't have an ocean, a lake, a river, the mountains, a forest, or lush gardens, but I love what I see out there and find myself more and more appreciative every day, even as I grow restless and wonder why I didn't "wander" more when I could. We aren't prohibited from going places, but the state parks are closed and so are many other places. I think all of you guys are taking precautions out there (I have read comments about some of you leaving places that appeared to be crowded), and I can tell you that when I can "freely" go visit some state parks and nature reserves, I hope I don't find a thousand excuses not to go. I live with panic disorder, and it makes doing anything incredibly hard, but I don't say that to do anything more than raise some awareness of the people, like me, who live with it and who know what social isolation is about, even if we live "productive" lives and work (or worked, I am retired) in the public. Long read. Thanks for staying with it. I post this picture and share (again) Townes Van Zandt's song At My Window. So much of my life is lived from my window view. Don't feel sorry for me. I am retired now, but I was the crisis worker in community mental health, and I can say that knowing what it's like to live with anxiety/panic disorder gave me an insight into so much of what my clients were experiencing. They showed me, on a daily basis, the difference that can be made when someone understands what they are feeling, or, at least, listens to them and how they feel. So, for all of you anxious folks out there in this time, if things get bad, do not hesitate to pick up the phone and call your provider or a help line. These are anxiety-inducing days way beyond the pale.

I don't have a picture of me with Molly

For most all of my adult life, I have felt fat and ugly.  So, I did not want to be in pictures and I still don't want to be, but I sure would like to see a picture of me hugging Molly's neck or of her giving me big kisses.  I will never forget her and I took tons of pics of her, but no one took any of me with Molly.  I miss her so much. 

Delicious muffins

Ingredients: 2 mashed bananas, 3 cups rolled oats, 2 large eggs--lightly beaten, 1/3 cup packed brown sugar, 1 tsp baking powder, 1 tsp salt, 1 tsp vanilla flavoring, 1 1/2 cups lowfat milk, 1 tsp cinnamon, & 1/2 cup chopped pecans. Spray your muffin cups with cooking spray and fill to the top (they don't rise much). Cook at 375 for 25 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean. Cool 10 minutes and then remove from the pan.

On Molly

She was so much of everything in our lives. We got her 6 months after my father died, and I know her spirit got me through those hard months after his death. She has most likely been in greater pain than she could ever let us know, though I could see and tell that she was in pain, and when it got so bad she could not even stand up--which was a very sudden thing--we had to let her go in a matter of days. I like to think she is out romping and being rowdy with her good doggie buddies and her Mom and Pop and whichever siblings have gone on before her, maybe on the Éire Isle from which her breed originated. I can just picture her beautiful red silky flowing coat with the wind blowing all around her as she flies across the soft and welcoming verdant green grass of her homeland. Thank you for your condolences. These have been such a hard 2 days, and I know there will be more to come.

Favorite pics

Molly's Death

We had to put Molly to sleep today.  This was one of the most difficult decisions we've had to make. In the midst of the coronavirus, we could not even be with her when they injected the drug that stopped her heart and took her from this world and us.

If I think of it any more than I have just written, I will not make it through this.  I am in deep soul pain, but all around me, the breeze from the open windows is blowing my hair across my face and cooling my hot body and I am thinking it is Molly trying to bring me comfort.