Monday, September 29, 2008
Hoping I shall embrace
...the change. I am excited, but I also know
the adjustment period will take a little while...
I've been home for almost 2 years (except for the
part-time job I had from last Dec.-May).
This Wednesday, I shall embark, indeed, on a new
journey. Although I think I only work 1/2 day, and
that 1/2 day is spent meeting with HR to complete
paperwork and discuss policy, I am ready to go.
I will be working for a rural mental health center
as a crisis case manager. The crisis case manager meets
with the client in a "safe" place (hospital, police dept.,
the clinic) to assess the client's immediate needs
and to decide what course of action is the best for the client
at that time. They may need hospitalization. They may
need institutionalization. They may need to go home
with a relative or friend. They may need just to talk that
night to get a plan in place for appointments or meds.
Although my work site is roughly 40 miles from home,
it's all parkway to get there. It will still take 35-40 min
to get home, but I know people who live relatively close
to where they work and it takes them 45 minutes to an hour
to get home. I have a friend in Birmingham who lives 14
miles from her office, but it takes her an hour to get home
every evening, so I won't complain too much (I hope) about
the drive time. At least it's not bumper to bumper stop-and-go
traffic.
As a crisis case manager, I will also be on call two nights per
week. On call starts at 5 p.m. and goes until 8 a.m. The on
call CCM is on call for the 8 counties the mental health center
serves, so I could have to drive an hour or so to do an assessment.
I know that will take some getting used to, but I am so ready
to not just be working, but to be working in a field in which
I have such a keen interest and in which I can try to help others
help themselves.
***************************************
Daughter and her boyfriend were in this weekend for
a wedding. Yesterday morning, youngest son's girlfriend
came over and we all had brunch together. Youngest
made his "in demand" blueberry pancakes. I cooked
scrambled eggs with hot sauce, cilantro and monterey
jack cheese, some sausage, and some bacon (yep--beaucoup
cholesterol!) but it was fun to share the time together
and everything tasted wonderful.
After daughter left, youngest, his GF, and I played
Monopoly. I almost won--matter of fact, that's the closest
I have ever come to winning. I generally suck at board
games. I either get impatient and don't care any longer
who wins or I simply don't strategize well (if it's a game
of strategy). Sometimes, I'm just really unlucky (cards).
Regardless, it was fun. It was one of the best days I've
had in a long time.
I felt something close to hopeful. It was a strange, yet welcoming
feeling.
******************************
Finished reading No Country For Old Men & Into The Wild.
I already mentioned some thoughts about NCFOM, but I
don't think I've mentioned what drew me into the book
ITW, nor why I recommend it. I saw the movie and wondered
why this young man would do what he did and why he did
not choose to contact his family, or anyone who knew him,
for over 2 years. I wanted to know more about him, what kind
of kid he was, what kind of friend, what his family thought
about him during that time and after the discovery of his
whereabouts, what he liked to read, how he spent his time
as a young child and a young adult. The author makes assumptions
many times about Chris's reasons based on conversations
with people who met him during his two year journey, with his
family members, and with the little bit of information he found
in Chris's journal. It's a well-written book with a few
chapters devoted to the author's own mountain climbing
experiences and his own risk-taking lifestyle. It's worth
the read.
Now rereading The Things They Carried and another book I hope
helps me out some. It's called Learned Optimism. It's
interesting so far, but somewhat on the academic side.
It reads like a book I would have had to read in one of my
Psych classes. I know all too well about Learned Helplessness.
Perhaps I'll learn that such a thing as "learned optimism"
is well within the realm of possibility.
***************************************
Time to go get some yard work done. Here's a thought
for today from Thoreau's Walden, Or Life In The Woods:
"...If the day and the night are such that you greet them
with joy, and life emits a fragrance like flowers and sweet-
scented herbs, is more elastic, more starry, more immortal,--
that is your success. All nature is your congratulation, and
you have cause momentarily to bless yourself. The greatest
gains and values are farthest from being appreciated. We
easily come to doubt if they exist. We soon forget them.
They are the highest reality...The true harvest of my daily
life is somewhat as intangible and indescribable as the tints
of morning or evening. It is a little star-dust caught, a segment
of the rainbow which I have clutched. "
...the change. I am excited, but I also know
the adjustment period will take a little while...
I've been home for almost 2 years (except for the
part-time job I had from last Dec.-May).
This Wednesday, I shall embark, indeed, on a new
journey. Although I think I only work 1/2 day, and
that 1/2 day is spent meeting with HR to complete
paperwork and discuss policy, I am ready to go.
I will be working for a rural mental health center
as a crisis case manager. The crisis case manager meets
with the client in a "safe" place (hospital, police dept.,
the clinic) to assess the client's immediate needs
and to decide what course of action is the best for the client
at that time. They may need hospitalization. They may
need institutionalization. They may need to go home
with a relative or friend. They may need just to talk that
night to get a plan in place for appointments or meds.
Although my work site is roughly 40 miles from home,
it's all parkway to get there. It will still take 35-40 min
to get home, but I know people who live relatively close
to where they work and it takes them 45 minutes to an hour
to get home. I have a friend in Birmingham who lives 14
miles from her office, but it takes her an hour to get home
every evening, so I won't complain too much (I hope) about
the drive time. At least it's not bumper to bumper stop-and-go
traffic.
As a crisis case manager, I will also be on call two nights per
week. On call starts at 5 p.m. and goes until 8 a.m. The on
call CCM is on call for the 8 counties the mental health center
serves, so I could have to drive an hour or so to do an assessment.
I know that will take some getting used to, but I am so ready
to not just be working, but to be working in a field in which
I have such a keen interest and in which I can try to help others
help themselves.
***************************************
Daughter and her boyfriend were in this weekend for
a wedding. Yesterday morning, youngest son's girlfriend
came over and we all had brunch together. Youngest
made his "in demand" blueberry pancakes. I cooked
scrambled eggs with hot sauce, cilantro and monterey
jack cheese, some sausage, and some bacon (yep--beaucoup
cholesterol!) but it was fun to share the time together
and everything tasted wonderful.
After daughter left, youngest, his GF, and I played
Monopoly. I almost won--matter of fact, that's the closest
I have ever come to winning. I generally suck at board
games. I either get impatient and don't care any longer
who wins or I simply don't strategize well (if it's a game
of strategy). Sometimes, I'm just really unlucky (cards).
Regardless, it was fun. It was one of the best days I've
had in a long time.
I felt something close to hopeful. It was a strange, yet welcoming
feeling.
******************************
Finished reading No Country For Old Men & Into The Wild.
I already mentioned some thoughts about NCFOM, but I
don't think I've mentioned what drew me into the book
ITW, nor why I recommend it. I saw the movie and wondered
why this young man would do what he did and why he did
not choose to contact his family, or anyone who knew him,
for over 2 years. I wanted to know more about him, what kind
of kid he was, what kind of friend, what his family thought
about him during that time and after the discovery of his
whereabouts, what he liked to read, how he spent his time
as a young child and a young adult. The author makes assumptions
many times about Chris's reasons based on conversations
with people who met him during his two year journey, with his
family members, and with the little bit of information he found
in Chris's journal. It's a well-written book with a few
chapters devoted to the author's own mountain climbing
experiences and his own risk-taking lifestyle. It's worth
the read.
Now rereading The Things They Carried and another book I hope
helps me out some. It's called Learned Optimism. It's
interesting so far, but somewhat on the academic side.
It reads like a book I would have had to read in one of my
Psych classes. I know all too well about Learned Helplessness.
Perhaps I'll learn that such a thing as "learned optimism"
is well within the realm of possibility.
***************************************
Time to go get some yard work done. Here's a thought
for today from Thoreau's Walden, Or Life In The Woods:
"...If the day and the night are such that you greet them
with joy, and life emits a fragrance like flowers and sweet-
scented herbs, is more elastic, more starry, more immortal,--
that is your success. All nature is your congratulation, and
you have cause momentarily to bless yourself. The greatest
gains and values are farthest from being appreciated. We
easily come to doubt if they exist. We soon forget them.
They are the highest reality...The true harvest of my daily
life is somewhat as intangible and indescribable as the tints
of morning or evening. It is a little star-dust caught, a segment
of the rainbow which I have clutched. "
Friday, September 26, 2008
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Some Days it's Just Too Much
So, I'm on my way to the Pampered Pet Salon this
morning to drop Molly off for a bath and to have her
nails filed, and I get behind this truck with a rather
large decal on the back window (which is tinted so
darkly you can't see anything inside the vehicle)
that says "I dig my coal miner," which is written
beneath the outline of a woman reclining and a man
crawling on his knees toward her inner thighs, his
miner's cap with the headlamp on. Made me think
of this scene from Austin Powers.
They turn at the light, and as they make the turn,
a truck that says, "Wayne's Auto Body" pulls out
in front of me. Can't miss this truck. It has a set
of Texas longhorns attached to the top of the cab.
By this time, I am wondering, more than usual, where
in the hell am I and how in the hell did I get here!
I come home and make an attempt to finish reading
our newspaper (all 8 pages of it). They list police reports
(as do most papers) and a section called "Fire Runs."
In today's section it said this (which is a found poem of
sorts, I think):
"Dispatched at 12:15 a.m. to a request for assistance
from Regional Medical Center at 900 Hospital Drive.
Crews tried to help remove jewelry from a patient
with a ring stuck on their swollen hand. Attempts
to use an assortment of cutters was unsuccessful."
Ok, so what the hell happened to the person? There has been
no follow-up to this Fire Run report, and enquiring minds
want to know. Did a surgeon have to cut the finger off
and reattach it? Or did the doctors give the person massive
amounts of Lasix (if fluid retention caused the finger to swell so much
that the ring got tight) and hope that enough times to the potty
might make the swelling go down, or is the person still walking
around with this too-tight ring cutting the circulation off in
"their" finger?
Tell us, dear editor!
Yes, folks, I need a life.
*sigh*
**************************************
Getting ready to go window shopping, as in real windows.
We are going to put replacment windows in when we redo
the house. They look like the original windows (6 over 6
they call them at the store--6 panes in the top and 6 in the
bottom). They are lovely old windows, but they've seen
better days.
I think I'm going to keep some of them and perhaps do
some artwork with them. I have some ideas.
Then I'm going to meet a friend for lunch. If all goes
as planned, I'll be at work this time next week, and she
and I will not get to have lunch together again until
we both happen to be off for a day.
If everything goes as planned, I won't be working in town.
I will be driving about 40 miles one way to my work site.
But, I don't have anything in writing at this point--I am just
waiting to receive some more info from the organization.
Time to get my face on and go!
So, I'm on my way to the Pampered Pet Salon this
morning to drop Molly off for a bath and to have her
nails filed, and I get behind this truck with a rather
large decal on the back window (which is tinted so
darkly you can't see anything inside the vehicle)
that says "I dig my coal miner," which is written
beneath the outline of a woman reclining and a man
crawling on his knees toward her inner thighs, his
miner's cap with the headlamp on. Made me think
of this scene from Austin Powers.
They turn at the light, and as they make the turn,
a truck that says, "Wayne's Auto Body" pulls out
in front of me. Can't miss this truck. It has a set
of Texas longhorns attached to the top of the cab.
By this time, I am wondering, more than usual, where
in the hell am I and how in the hell did I get here!
I come home and make an attempt to finish reading
our newspaper (all 8 pages of it). They list police reports
(as do most papers) and a section called "Fire Runs."
In today's section it said this (which is a found poem of
sorts, I think):
"Dispatched at 12:15 a.m. to a request for assistance
from Regional Medical Center at 900 Hospital Drive.
Crews tried to help remove jewelry from a patient
with a ring stuck on their swollen hand. Attempts
to use an assortment of cutters was unsuccessful."
Ok, so what the hell happened to the person? There has been
no follow-up to this Fire Run report, and enquiring minds
want to know. Did a surgeon have to cut the finger off
and reattach it? Or did the doctors give the person massive
amounts of Lasix (if fluid retention caused the finger to swell so much
that the ring got tight) and hope that enough times to the potty
might make the swelling go down, or is the person still walking
around with this too-tight ring cutting the circulation off in
"their" finger?
Tell us, dear editor!
Yes, folks, I need a life.
*sigh*
**************************************
Getting ready to go window shopping, as in real windows.
We are going to put replacment windows in when we redo
the house. They look like the original windows (6 over 6
they call them at the store--6 panes in the top and 6 in the
bottom). They are lovely old windows, but they've seen
better days.
I think I'm going to keep some of them and perhaps do
some artwork with them. I have some ideas.
Then I'm going to meet a friend for lunch. If all goes
as planned, I'll be at work this time next week, and she
and I will not get to have lunch together again until
we both happen to be off for a day.
If everything goes as planned, I won't be working in town.
I will be driving about 40 miles one way to my work site.
But, I don't have anything in writing at this point--I am just
waiting to receive some more info from the organization.
Time to get my face on and go!
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
What You Don't Say To Your Ma
She tells you she wants
some lye soap, cayennes, and corn,
only if you're going anyway,
to which you respond
Of course, I had planned on it,
knowing that telling her you
were going to the market
tomorrow was not anything
other than a ploy
to keep talking and so then she tells
you how the groundhog ate all the blooms
off the pansies you got for her at Lowe's,
twenty bucks that could have bought
some food, but she was wanting
to see those pansies this winter,
when the cannas had given
up the ghost and the pampas
was leaning heavily toward
the house, how happy that would
have made her on those grey days,
how she couldn't bring herself to call
anyone to kill it as it trusted
her so, like a pet, so she might just put moth
balls around what's left of the pansies
and maybe they'd bloom again and maybe
they'd just stay green for a little while
standing out there proud-like amidst
all the grey and brown and you want
to scream I'm dyin here, Ma,
and I'm not sure if getting better
is better than staying worse, but all you say
is I'll go get you some more pansies.
She tells you she wants
some lye soap, cayennes, and corn,
only if you're going anyway,
to which you respond
Of course, I had planned on it,
knowing that telling her you
were going to the market
tomorrow was not anything
other than a ploy
to keep talking and so then she tells
you how the groundhog ate all the blooms
off the pansies you got for her at Lowe's,
twenty bucks that could have bought
some food, but she was wanting
to see those pansies this winter,
when the cannas had given
up the ghost and the pampas
was leaning heavily toward
the house, how happy that would
have made her on those grey days,
how she couldn't bring herself to call
anyone to kill it as it trusted
her so, like a pet, so she might just put moth
balls around what's left of the pansies
and maybe they'd bloom again and maybe
they'd just stay green for a little while
standing out there proud-like amidst
all the grey and brown and you want
to scream I'm dyin here, Ma,
and I'm not sure if getting better
is better than staying worse, but all you say
is I'll go get you some more pansies.
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