So out of it this morning. Again, this feeling of (not sure) despair? I realize that going through menopause is a difficult thing for most women. I am certainly no exception to that. I don't want to have any more children, but there is something so strange (for lack of a better word--word retrieval a major problem as I go through this thing) at the thought of never being able to conceive or carry a child again. For me, pregnancy and child birth were some of the happier days of my life. I never felt healthier than I did when I was pregnant or nursing a child. I just can't believe how quickly those days have come and gone. My oldest is 27 (a son), daughter is 24, and the youngest is 14. I started young, so I know many other mothers who are my age (46) who have much younger children than I do. One of my friends has a 10 year old and an 8 year old. Just received some bad news. My husband's first cousin's 20 year old son was found dead this morning. Time to make some phone calls.