Pale Blue Eyes & other things this 27th day of the seventh month


Brilliant blue sky. Depressed today. What's new?

Been on an REM kick again. Dead Letter Office over and over,
which just takes me back to Lou Reed (Pale Blue Eyes, Femme Fatale on D.L.O.)
and to my childhood when Michael Stipe starts singing
"Trailer for sale or rent/ Rooms to let, 50 cents/
No phone, no pool, no pets/I ain't got no cigarettes"

Makes me think of Virgina Beach and to days when I was young
and so were my mom and dad. Things were always
so volatile then and unpredictable that it's hard to remember
something from that time that makes me smile, but Roger Miller does.
Guess because people seemed happy when that song came on the turntable.
They'd all start singing along with it. Even if just moments
before they were arguing or being cool to one another.


Don't know what to do about my job. Supervisor has no respect
for me or any of the front-line staff. Although my work is done
with little or no supervision, she's still out there, lurking in the shadows,
waiting for the next opporutnity to demoralize someone (she does
that so well). But, the autonomy I have with my position and the confidence
I feel about myself and the kind of work I do and the help I can provide
to others through this program tend to weigh out the negativity.

Yet, I am tired. Bone-weary some days. Been working full-time, raising
a family, and going to school for so long it's hard to remember a day
when I felt I could just freely vacation or garden or read a book or enjoy
myself.

I really wasn't going to write about those things this morning. I was going
to write about photographs. Maybe another day.

Read some Ted Hughes Birthday Letters this morning. Been reading Adrienne
Rich's Dark Fields of the Republic with breakfast each morning, but chose Ted
today. Finished the book The Best Day the Worst Day last week (Donald Hall's
book about his life with Jane Kenyon). Reading Wicked and Technopoly.

Time to get some work done.