How's that Beck song go?

It's early stuff...lot more hip-hop
than later Beck..

"I'm a loser baby, so why don't kill me"

Hum, hum hum Hum hum hum,
I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me...

Damn it gets so boring to be depressed.

*

B's heart cath went well. Needs some additional meds. Not good
news, not bad news. The stents are ok.

I've been going over and over my termination from work
day after day, as if that is going to change anything. I just
can't f'ing believe I lost my job. After the initial shock, I felt
some relief. Now I am back to despair.

Then I go from that to thinking about Dad.
Then I think about the time I didn't cut the damned
grilled cheese into triangles
or I went into a frenzy when a plate got broken
or when I threw my sister's music box against the wall
and busted it into a milllion little pieces
or the times I called my brother all sorts of unforgiveable names...
or just anything, anything and I just go off.
I just go off on a boo-hoo tangent. About what a loser
I am or how I seem to screw everything
up one way or the other. How everything is my fault.

Even global warming.

Hey, I at least recycle!