Thinking

 Thinking about something Dixie said when we were talking last week.  I don't remember what she was saying at the time, but she had been talking about things you do when you're drunk and how smoking weed and driving isn't DUI driving, etc. I told her about the time she brought Sunny and Skyla to stay at the condo with Becca and me, and that Sunny threw her pot on the table and said, "Dixie said you were cool with it." I told Sunny that I didn't care who smoked pot, but that I didn't smoke pot, and I didn't want it in the condo. She said she was cool with that and took it to her car.  I told Dixie it upset me that she violated my feelings and completely ignored my asking that she not bring pot with her. She told me she wouldn't.  I was telling her about that and some other times when she seemed to have total disregard for my feelings, and though I never used those words, whatever I was telling her at one particular point in time brought these words from her mouth: "I feel like I'm being attacked."  I stopped talking, and I said, "Really? You do?" And she said yes, she did.  I apologized and said a friend should never feel like another friend is attacking her.  I haven't felt like talking to her since.  If I can say something to her that makes her feel attacked, and she's tough and will call BS and tell the truth, then I have to question the kind of friend I am, as I often do, by the way.  

Daughter Detox keeps coming to mind. The book I read about how to detox from an unloving mother.  The author talks about the inability for unloved daughters to form lasting friendships or relationships.  That is me alright, whether it is a result of being an unloved daughter or my own inability to know how to do the dance.