Who Knows Where The Time Goes

I woke up with that song going through my head this morning:


Across the evening sky, all the birds are leaving
But how can they know it's time for them to go?
Before the winter fire, I will still be dreaming
I have no thought of time
For who knows where the time goes?
Who knows where the time goes?

Sad, deserted shore, your fickle friends are leaving
Ah, but then you know it's time for them to go
But I will still be here, I have no thought of leaving
I do not count the time
For who knows where the time goes?
Who knows where the time goes?

And I am not alone while my love is near me
I know it will be so until it's time to go
So come the storms of winter
and then the birds in spring again
I have no fear of time
For who knows how my love grows?
And who knows where the time goes?

I dreamed about my dad last night. He was younger but he seemed older in some ways.
His hair was very black--no grey yet, and he wasn't wearing his glasses.
He was looking for me (I was hiding because I had done something wrong and Mom was very upset with me).
I was not a child in the dream, but I remember thinking I felt like a child.
I was hiding in this (I wish I could draw this out because I don't know how to describe it)appendage-type thing attached to this oval-shaped thingee (vague vague--picture an embryo attached to the uterine wall) .

I was lying in there with my arms folded across my chest and my eyes closed.
Daddy said, "What are you doing in there, Sis?" And I said, "Waiting for you and Mom."
Then I got up out of my sarcophagus (that's what it looked like) and walked away with
Dad and Mom. I remember there was a highway to the left of us (seems like it was 24/65 in Nashville or 75 in Atlanta) and things were moving so fast on that side--it was very futuristic, and to the right of us was this completely other world...very green valley with lush trees and wild berries...it was in that oval thingee I was trying to describe above (word retrieval a major problem lately).
As I stood up and started to walk away with Mom and Dad, this gargantuan giraffe stood up at the same time and started walking away with us(it was to the right of us). Then it evolved into one of the larger dinosaurs--diplodocus I think...seems like Mom, Dad, and I were walking on ice floes, but the dinosaur was walking through the most beautiful green valley.

I took Dad's hand in mine ( I was to his left). I remember thinking how warm it felt, and how soft, and how old and dry it felt--like it did in the hospital...but dad looked like he was only in his late forties or early fifties.

I felt better when I woke up. And then I felt worse.

Before I go to bed and immediately after I wake up--those are the hardest times of the day.
I guess because I fear what I may dream before I go to bed, and I don't want to acknowledge when I wake up that all of this has not just been a bad dream...it is the truth...Dad is gone. It just can't be.

But it is.