I confess...

that I am an HGTV addict.

I love to watch other people work.

If Walls Could Talk is a featured show that comes on nightly.
It spotlights older homes and their histories. As I live
in an older home (about 90 years old), I love to watch
the discoveries the new homeowners make.

I can't say we had any such discoveries here, but there
are some things I have yet to find out about this house.

For example, the stone wall that sits about 20-30
ft. from the back of the house. It is a perpendicular
wall whose lines extend 15-20 ft. N to S and another
15-20 ft. E-W. On the backside (North side) of the wall is a small,
inscripted stone which has been nearly totally
erased through the years from age
and weather, I suppose.

I can make out this much:

Eliza Hall
Infan Daugh of

and that's it.

When we bought the house, I thought I'd look into this matter.
Perhaps this infant daughter is buried there, I thought.
Perhaps it is something to mark her memory.

I can't believe I've been here almost 19 years and have yet
to research the stone.

Other things have gotten in the way. Like work and school
and child-rearing and home renovation and being
a drunken fool. Maybe I am not meant to know
who Eliza was.

So, I was watching a show on HGTV and it was about
a house which was built by a civil war veteran. He had a
shop across the street--hardware store or something.
The new owners of the house found many things
in the carriage house, including some medallions,
that were fashioned out of metal in the shape
of a star, to be placed on the stones of civil
war veterans.

Well now, there you go. Made me think of my granny's
grave in Evansville, IN. Last time I visited the grave
was last spring. It was only then that I realized
that I kept forgetting her medallion was missing
from the stone. A DAR star, I think. I remember
noticing it was gone several years ago and trying
to make myself understand why it was important
that the star be there.

And then, I forgot to think about it again.

And so I thought about it tonight, but I really
don't know who to ask about it. Dad is gone
and his sister is in a long-term care facility
and rarely understands fully what you're asking
her. I haven't heard her voice in a few years.

She and Dad weren't close. She and Mom
even less so.

And then I started thinking about Granny's death.
And I wondered how much my dad thought
about it. And I wondered if he ever went up
there (to Evansville) to see her grave.

And I don't think he did. Many people don't.
It's what you do for the living while they're living
that matters, I suppose, but I am thinking
about that star.