No Sun

Just the week when I really needed
to get a little sun (leaving for FL this Sunday)
and it's been overcast since Sunday. Mon.
and Tues. were nice days, but I was busy
all day and couldn't get outside.

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Still feeling uninspired. No poems. No journal
entries. No music. No dancing. No crying.
No laughing. Just being.

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Baby Isaac has been sick. I took care of him for a little
while Tuesday while his mommy ran some errands, and I
spent some time with him yesterday while she went
to lunch with a friend. I called her on Mother's Day and asked
if she wanted to get out some this week so I could spend
some time with him. I am going to miss him while I'm away.

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I post this often because I love it so. I feel it so strongly today.

My Grandmother's Love Letters

There are no stars to-night
But those of memory.
Yet how much room for memory there is
In the loose girdle of soft rain.

There is even room enough
For the letters of my mother's mother,
Elizabeth,
That have been pressed so long
Into a corner of the roof
That they are brown and soft,
And liable to melt as snow.

Over the greatness of such space
Steps must be gentle.
It is all hung by an invisible white hair.
It trembles as birch limbs webbing the air.

And I ask myself:

"Are your fingers long enough to play
Old keys that are but echoes:
Is the silence strong enough
To carry back the music to its source
And back to you again
As though to her?"

Yet I would lead my grandmother by the hand
Through much of what she would not understand;
And so I stumble. And the rain continues on the roof
With such a sound of gently pitying laughter.

Hart Crane

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Going to take my unmotivated, sleepy self back to bed
on this dark and rainy morning.