Visited Christopher

We visited Christopher last weekend. It was the first time we had been able to stay all night with him in over 5 years (he and Jessica separated in April 2014).  It was a good weekend with him and Meghan, and we got to talk and share in ways we haven't in years.  That helped this mother's heart.

He took a pic of Robin and me. I never let anyone take my picture because I don't want old friends and acquaintances to look at the whale of a woman I have become, but he shared it on Facebook, so now they know. I have kept my face and body off there for years.   I will share the picture here. Maybe one day I will decide I don't want to be a lard ass forever and I will be able to compare pics and go, Goodness! Look at you! You look wonderful!  Because, that appears to be the only thing I think about. Which is incredibly sad. That I cannot mean more than my body size.  By the way, I am supposed to talk to myself like I would talk to a friend. Would I ever tell a friend they were a lard ass or big as a whale? No, I would listen to them talk about how they feel and then be encouraging.

I slept so poorly at Christopher's though I did not have any alcohol either night. Alcohol supposedly interferes with sleep.  Last night, I drank. And, I slept so soundly for about 4.5 hours (8-12:30). I woke up, went to the bathroom, took my meds, and went back to sleep and slept another 4.5 hours. I can tell I got some sleep. 

That's all I want to type right now.  I thought about setting some goals, but I don't want to right now.