I am still just trying to navigate the waters. I thought things were bad/difficult/trying/troubling/confusing/exasperating/problematic/exhausting/frustrating/dissatisfying/nearly hopeless/conflicting/existentially draining/psychologically damning/metaphysically lacking/diurnally repetitive/nocturnally arresting/and overall plainly unsatisfying in terms of trying to feel I had found my place in this world when I was working. I thought that maybe I would be able to discern what caused my existential dilemmas once I retired. I have found out that I already knew when I was working and nothing has changed.
I want to write about this and these things, and I don't. I am so fucking lonely.
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