Sunday

I didn't get up until 11. I didn't sleep well again last night. I don't feel as blah as yesterday, but I feel down. I need to get up and write when I can't sleep in the night so I could talk about everything going through my mind in the middle of the night.  Last night, I kept wondering about how I got here--this place of loneliness and despair. This friendless place. I kept thinking of all of the people I have known through the years--the many I have called friend--who are no longer part of my life. I was thinking about how my house used to have people coming and going, and now, there is no one. I don't think anyone (other than my children) has been here to see me since I retired a year ago.  I have gone to lunch a few times with Becca, and that's been it.

I don't feel like going into any detail about how I really feel right now. I wish I had gotten up and posted in the middle of the night.

Goals. Hmmm.

Take a shower
Put on clean clothes
Brush teeth
Read
Sweep kitchen
Work on stuff I am sorting through in Wes's room
Do something creative (like what?)

I suppose I do something creative most days--I take pictures.  What is it I want to do that is something creative? Paint? Sketch? Start working on the Christmas stockings I purchased several years ago but have never started working on? Learn to knit and start knitting scarves for the kids and grandkids? I don't know.  Seems I always have an excuse about why I am not doing anything creative or doing much of anything at all.