Wednesday goals

Today is Wednesday, August 21st. It is Sweetpea's 4th birthday! We had a blast celebrating her birthday with her and a large crowd for her party last Sunday.

Goals for today:

Shower
Wash face
Brush teeth
Put on some make-up
Water indoor plants
Sweep kitchen floor
Clean out kitchen junk drawers
Read
Check the garden
Do more weeding
Cook big lunch (pork chops, roasted butternut squash, steamed broccoli, baked potatoes)
Clean kitchen
Continue working on Wes's room
Take donations to the Assistance Center

I think I can handle all of this.  I am going to try.

Breakfast: 1/2 of a 3 egg ham and cheese omelet. Cup of coffee with creamer (320 calories)
Lunch: pork chop, steamed broccoli, 1/2 large baked potato, roasted butternut squash (600 calories?)
Dinner: margaritas, chips, dip (1,000 calories--guessing)

Finished reading the A.A. Milne biography.

I got most of the things on the list done, but every time I am cleaning something, Robin comes in and asks if I am going to throw something away and why.  It annoys the hell out of me. I was cleaning the drawer with the nails, tools, and assorted junk in it. I had no intention of throwing away tools nor nails--why would I do that? So, he's standing behind me, scrutinizing everything I am picking up and saying, "Can't I have just one drawer in this house? What are you gonna do with my tools? How am I going to know where they are?" Then he picks up a small empty container, which I had placed with garbage, and states, "I need to keep this. It has the part number on it for our faucets. When Cecil leaves work, no one there will know what we need." That is the kind of thing that is maddening to me. Write the damn number down somewhere and keep it. Throw the trash away. Maddening. Then, I blow a gasket, start yelling, holding my head in my hands, moaning, etc.  It's all very disturbing to Molly. Why can't he just let me be?  I lay awake in bed last night for a long time trying to think where I could go for a week just to be alone, but I couldn't think of anywhere, and I don't like being alone. Nor do I have the money to just go hole up in a hotel.  It is on nights like that that I realize how utterly alone I am. Other people have friends they can call.  They have friends to go places with.  I have no one.  Only me and my loneliness, frustration, and unhappiness.  I don't know how or why this had to happen to me.