Wednesday, September 04, 2013


Ashes to Ashes Scattered across the world, one ocean to the next, what is left of this vibrant young boy is now floating with flotsam and jetsam. His bones burned into eternity enter the waters, dropped from baggies lovingly and with great grief from friends and extended family. In one picture, a man on a pier opens a bag. The look on his face could be labeled: determination, sadness, responsibility. So, there you are, now, my nephew, though your face still looks out at me from the pictures I have on the refrigerator, the ones your mother posts online, the ones I just see in my mind. I do not know where you might be now. I want to believe what I want to believe. You are well, playing, kicking a soccer ball, meeting a girl, falling in love, arguing with your mother about what you should wear to your middle school dance, cutting your face with a razor for the first time, out- growing your clothes in one short season, living the life you will never get to live. To say goodbye is not enough. Anger clouds rational thought. I cannot let it go. Maybe, one day, when I sit in front of the great ocean of choice, I will feel you there in the waves lapping at my exposed toes, energy exponentially filling my aging body with so much joy for having known you.

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Gabe's Hands

I am telling anyone out there reading this now that I am wrecked when I see this picture of my nephew's hands, but I think I would have done the same thing if he had been my child. This just absolutely tears me up.  I don't understand many things, but I certainly can't get it right in my mind that children have to die. Oh my. Oh, Porscha. How many nights I think about you and your longing for your son.

Monday, July 01, 2013

In Memory Of Steve Dunn: You are so missed and thought of every day

L-R: My oldest son, Christopher, daughter-in-law, Jess, and Steve after the funeral of my father-in-law two years ago.

Saturday, June 15, 2013

Enjoy Every Sandwich--Warren Zevon

What a roller coaster ride the last two months have been. Life is that way often, but it's been particularly up and down lately. 

I lost my brother-in-law in a car wreck on 6/05/13 at 6:00 PM. He & the family dog, Cookie, were on their way home from the office when he went off the shoulder of the road, over-corrected, hit an embankment, and his car went airborn and flipped several times.  He was not wearing his seat belt and was ejected from the sunroof and died of blunt force trauma.  He was 59 years old. Cookie was found right next to his body--injured but alive. She must have crawled her way to him as it is highly unlikely they were thrown at the same time. She has a broken leg, but it otherwise unharmed.

Steve and my sister-in-law had so many things they were looking forward to doing when he retired.  He was an attorney and had just bought the house next door and made it one of his offices so he could do much of his work from his home town.  We will miss him very much.

He starting dating my sister-in-law about a year after my brother-in-law (my husband's brother) died of cancer at the age of 59 leaving behind a 7 yr. old daughter (my beautiful niece, Elizabeth), his wife, his mother, brother and the rest of the family. From that point on, Steve has been a part of this family.  He's been here for every Thanksgiving, Christmas brunch, family funerals, my chidlren's weddings, etc. We are all truly heartbroken & in a state of disbelief. 

But, life goes on, and those who remain must try to find a way through the grief and continue on. I will never forget Steve. He was incredibly intelligent, witty, charitable, handsome, and he was a wonderful husband and father to his own children and my niece--whom he thought of as his own. 

Happy Trails To You, Steve. I look forward to the day we meet again.

The Graduate! Our youngest graduated from UK Summa Cum Laude in both English & Spanish on 5/05/13

Pictures: 1. I could see Wes better on the screen, so I took a picutre of the screen as he crossed the stage. 2. My son-in-law, Jon, Wes, my oldest son, and my husband sharing a happy moment. 3. My children with Mom & Pop: Lauren, Wes, Christopher, me, & Robin. Very proud parents! 4. Wes is burning up in that cap and gown! 5. Wes unaware that Mom is taking pictures and really quite oblivious to it all. He was just taking a moment to reflect. 6. Lauren and Wes

Celebrating: Isaac's graduation from kindergarten on 5/30/13

My incredible grandson who brings such joy into my life!

Friday, May 10, 2013

In Memory of Gabe, my 13 yr old nephew

Gabe died at 3:18 PM on 5/03/13 from bacterial spinal meningitis. He was truly a charitable child who gave his birthday money, Yule money, and any other savings to charities. He is lying in a funeral home right now in the shirt you see him wearing in this picture. He had donated money to Relay for Life. He has this whimsy about him, and this strong love of family. I am so utterly heartbroken and so worried about his mom.

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

A Blessing: James Wright

I saw these two ponies when I was at an art festival last weekend and immediately thought of James Wright's powerful poem. Here it is:

A Blessing

James Wright 1927–1980

Just off the highway to Rochester, Minnesota,
Twilight bounds softly forth on the grass.
And the eyes of those two Indian ponies
Darken with kindness.
They have come gladly out of the willows
To welcome my friend and me.
We step over the barbed wire into the pasture
Where they have been grazing all day, alone.
They ripple tensely, they can hardly contain their happiness
That we have come.
They bow shyly as wet swans. They love each other.
There is no loneliness like theirs.
At home once more,
They begin munching the young tufts of spring in the darkness.
I would like to hold the slenderer one in my arms,
For she has walked over to me
And nuzzled my left hand.
She is black and white,
Her mane falls wild on her forehead,
And the light breeze moves me to caress her long ear
That is delicate as the skin over a girl’s wrist.
Suddenly I realize
That if I stepped out of my body I would break
Into blossom.

Saturday, March 23, 2013

Leonard Cohen - Joan of Arc

Going to see Cohen next Saturday night for the second time. Watched The Passion of Joan of Arc for film club discussion next month. Powerful film.

Saturday, February 16, 2013

Trading Places: Kitty Loves the Molly Crate

In the process of renovating the bedroom. Molly is now allowed back on the bed to sleep, and Oreo loves Molly's crate, so it's all working out well!