Saturday, January 11, 2020

On friends

I don't have a best friend. As a matter of fact, I don't know that I have many friends. I have people who contact me occasionally, but I don't have one single person I would call right at this moment to tell them how lonely and alone I feel.  Not one.  I don't have anyone.  I don't know that I ever will.  What did I ever do to make this my reality?  Day after endless day, I am here in this house. No one comes by. No one calls. No one.  It is starting to get to me.  I am wondering why anything matters.  How does my life matter?  If I die, my children and grandchildren will miss me or have deep sadness that I have died, but there will be no one who will sit around and talk about coming to see me, what fun I was, how creative I was, how silly I could be, etc etc.  No one because there is no one.

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