Turning point in this whole catastrophe (and, yes, this is about my weight)

I am done.

I can't handle the stress any longer and the unhappiness of living with a husband who is perpetually depressed and not a partner in any sense of the word and I am considered to be the one who is supposed to take care of him. I can't.  I can't take care of me.

My anxiety is so bad again that I don't want to leave the house.

I had my first full-blown panic attack at Wal Mart yesterday (I know that comment could certainly elicit some laughter, but a panic attack is not funny).

I am so worn down from this constant stress of living with a person who can't do things for himself or won't.  He has two working legs, two working arms, he can see, he can hear (somewhat), he can function, but he chooses to stay depressed and won't get any help, which has in turn made me completely and utterly exhausted and depressed.

I can't take much more.

I am shutting myself off in the bedroom.  I am hardly moving around.  I don't want to go anywhere.  I am having so many anxiety episodes as I am feeling more hopeless than I ever have in my life.  My only hope to be better is to be out of this environment, and I do not know how to do that without feeling guilty or feeling like my children will hate me the rest of my life. 

This has totally wrecked me. 

I am so sad. I am so sad. I just want to live and go places and see things and feel hopeful.

I am so tired.